Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
