Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
