nut hugger
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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