Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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