It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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