Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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