Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
