it wasn't lemon gatorade
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
