I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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