That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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