I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Its about making memories worth repressing
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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