I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
