i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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