Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
