I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth