somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.