Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug http://tfl.nu/0t6b
  Replies (25) Good night (3037) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome http://tfl.nu/pei8
  Replies (45) Good night (833) Bad night (6346) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high. http://tfl.nu/02yt
  Replies (19) Good night (3531) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will. http://tfl.nu/52i2
  Replies (11) Good night (3562) Bad night (988) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk. http://tfl.nu/u52z
  Replies (19) Good night (3697) Bad night (1464) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up http://tfl.nu/hogm
  Replies (5) Good night (560) Bad night (1985) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid http://tfl.nu/59ax
  Replies (8) Good night (672) Bad night (1900)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy" http://tfl.nu/xm1o
  Replies (6) Good night (1309) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed? http://tfl.nu/6lho
  Replies (10) Good night (1993) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it" http://tfl.nu/ijmk
  Replies (19) Good night (2533) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm dying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me. (541): I'm dying. http://tfl.nu/wgmh
  Replies (3) Good night (548) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work. http://tfl.nu/n3jo
  Replies (0) Good night (1083) Bad night (358) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible. http://tfl.nu/5wo9
  Replies (5) Good night (851) Bad night (366) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs. http://tfl.nu/xnbx
  Replies (9) Good night (1264) Bad night (341) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats. http://tfl.nu/azi3
  Replies (12) Good night (318) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt

Randomize