Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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