i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize