Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
