you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
