sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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