Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i think my tv is drunk
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
