Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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