So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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