I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
