Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
