Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize