Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
