i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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