Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I need water and some morals
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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