I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
