Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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