dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
