he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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