So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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