They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
