I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
one might say we're banned from that church
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
