I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
