He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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