I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
