I wish i was in the wii world.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
