just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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