Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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