this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
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