Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I didn't notice because vodka
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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