Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The air was thick with penises
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
