I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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