honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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