I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
