I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
