is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
