this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
