so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
