dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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