So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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