You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize