It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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