He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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