Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How external is "for external use only"?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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