Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
