just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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