you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
